Because “not listening” is so broad, it can be difficult to find a solution. When talking to parents, “not listening” usually ends up being a blanket term that covers a myriad of issues. Is “Not Listening” Just a Label?īefore we dive into strategies to improve communication with your children, consider this question– What exactly are you referring to when you say your child “doesn’t listen?” By doing this, cooperation from your children will improve and the dreaded repeat – remind – repeat – remind cycle will come to an end. However, by implementing a few easy-to-learn positive parenting techniques, you can give your children power within your boundaries. I’m not suggesting you let them call every shot. This behavior is simply a way children express their need for more control and decision-making ability in their lives. When children don’t have opportunities to exert their power in positive ways–choosing what clothes to wear, making the dinner menu, picking what game to play, etc.–they will exert their power in negative ways.īecause children DO have control over their body and language, the most common (and frustrating) power struggles occur when children use their bodies and language to defy our requests.īy choosing NOT to listen, children can assert their power. If you are confident your child’s ears are fully-functioning, read on.)Ĭhildren of all ages–toddler through teens– have a hard-wired need for power. (Before we go any further, be sure you’ve ruled out any potential medical condition that could be affecting your child’s hearing or comprehension. Good question! Why are they tuning you out? Why do you have to repeat something over and over until you find yourself yelling? If you don’t address this issue at its roots, you’re sure to see a simple case of “not listening” blossom into bigger behavior issues such as tantrums, defiance, and backtalk. More often than not, his lack of response is a SYMPTOM, not the actual problem. Here’s the thing though, if you want to get a handle on your child’s unresponsiveness, the first thing you need to do is figure out WHY he is NOT listening. I’ve been a parenting educator for 15+ years and can say unequivocally that children “not listening” is the most common frustration I hear from moms and dads. The energy escalates and everyone is left frustrated and discouraged. In a moment of utter defeat, you’re left screaming the same demands you had requested calmly just minutes ago. Remind.”Īnd then it happens–the fuse blows. You feel yourself rapidly falling into the familiar cycle of “Repeat. Instead of action, you get the kid equivalent of crickets.

How to Get Kids to (REALLY) Listen: 7 Steps for Success

I have used all my patients on my kids